Sigh yesterday went to meet her finally supposely should be a happy one however yesterday just meet up for a lunch only. The feeling is just not right I know it but she don tell me. I should have guessed it, to think I make a fool out of myself. I already sensed something yesterday and my sixth sense never fail me. Why rise up my hopes and only to be shattered totally? I have low confidence in myself and I should not let myself fall so deep in. What makes I think she will say no because I am a guy who got rejected again and again. I not forcing her to accept me I guess it just my fate. All fairy tales have to come to an end I guess my fairy tales have eneded time to wake up and face the reality and it is alway cruel. I spend my time almost walking lifelessly at orchard yesterday after meeting her, thinking of this problem true enough it happened. Chatted last night given me hopes, only to get an sms from you this morning to tell me ya your answer is no but we are still friends. Why friends only I can be only a friend but not a lover. Sometimes I really feel like breaking down but I can't I must not. I guess maybe it just not her. What is not mine no matter how hard I try to hold on to it , it will eventually fall out of my hands. I though my world has changed and it did change maybe from bad to worse, let this be the last one I think I have enough already.
Jimmy stop typing at 8:24 AM
Archives
January 2005