Hai I really wish to be that close to you as in the past we did. Looks like nothing can be done to revert it. Besides you also never read my blog even if you read you also don know who I am referring to and I will take the first option. I feel so sad though. After entering army I feel I have lost alot of friends. Friends that once chatted with me so much that once care so much. It all changed after entering army. What has happened? Is it they have grown up and change? Is it I am still young at heart I still have not grown and mature? What is wrong with me sometimes I ask myself. I wonder why suddenly I feel like I am so childish and feel like I never grow at all. Am I alway complaining alway whinning ? I wonder what is the purpose of my life in this world ? I feel so useless to anything, can't even do my job well can't even get any recognition in anything. Even going to the working society I feel I will just cannot make it. I wanted to do something great but what can I do ? It no longer about trust or faith it about one self capability. I know I don have it I just know. Yesterday went to ntu meet a friend and attended his lecture psychology. The lectuerer then started first speech on one of his friends, and bear in mind that it a true story. He say his friend was kind of a big size and alway have chest pain. So he was recommended to see a doctor. This doctor at first diagnosed him and found out that his heart was perfectly fine and see no reason for the chest pain, so the doctor then concluded that it some illness beyond his knowledge. So that guy though it some kind of will die illness ask him how much longer can he still live. Well he replied maybe 6 months since he also not sure what is it exactly. Then the guy left knowing that he has 6 months of life left , he live just as usual. Then when the fifth month comes his chest pain was so intense that he has to lie on the bed can't move at all. So he was refered back to the doctor who seen him but at that time the doctor went for a 4 months vaccaction so he was referred to another doctor. This doctor then went through all the records and found out that his heart was in perfect condition and there was no signs of showing he is going to die soon. But one thing is very puzzling while all this ordeal was going on, what he lost was only his weight and nothing else. He cannot find any logical explaination for that and told him to go back home and take a good rest. Well after about one year, the guy was seen lively , drinking and enjoying his life to the fullest. It was very puzzling why, so ask him and he said well when he heard that he was about to die, he couldn't eat anything much, so hence he lost his weight and all those chest pains was from the causes of all those unhealthy food he consumed before. So now he is perfectly fine now with no chest pain and control well on his diet he lived on. So now we know that death is one power word that inflicts fear in someone. When someone has fear he will surely lost his appetite and hence lost weight. Well can say death is one good word to make one lost weight. Maybe should have tried that on gallen and he won't be needed to go operation and won't be at home mcing to now.
Quote of the day: All lifes are the same, as long as it is a living thing , then should be treated equally.
Jimmy stop typing at 10:43 AM
Well I have nothing to say, I really don know what to do. Should I carry on tagging ? I would like to but I feel I am being dislike by many. Should I carry on doing what I should do ? There are alot of questions in my head. Why am I only a friend? Why am I only here to listen to your problems ? Why can't I be part of it ? why can't I be the solution why can't I find a reason to live ? Why Why Why can't I find her ? The above refers to all different things, no point guessing and no point asking I won't tell. Just want to vent out my feelings. Why am I alway left alone ? Why am I alway like friendsless ? Why am I alway can't fit into anywhere ? Why am I alway like a source of something? Why is it alway me ? Some one can provide me with the answers ? I would gladly like to hear. What worse I feel not being bothered at all. Maybe some of my friends do care, but some I really wish would care never bothered to. Sad maybe but I will still live on. Nothing in particular refering to anyone. Nothing in particular refering to anything. Whoever reads my blog must be also full of questions anyway I am not here to answer to them.
Quote of the day: Special is a word, Doing is an action, Show the special through your doings so that someone will know you really bothers.
Jimmy stop typing at 9:43 PM
There once live a guy who is so short that his friend nicknamed him shorty. However this guy he was not at all bothered all by this cruel remarks and carry on his life. Then one day this guy met a girl and fall in love straight when he saw her. However he decide to hold back and not do any actions. Besides he feels , the girl don know him, and surely she will look for a more handsome, rich and tall guy for her bf. So this guy just walk past her and carry on his life trying to forget her. However hard he tried he still can't forget her, the images of her filled his mind, so he decided to change himself. However the world is so big how to find her even though he has changed for the better? He decided to change first then maybe fate will bring her to him again. So every day he goes jogging, swimming and do all sorts of exercise and eat all kinds of healty foods that will make him grow taller. However 3 years has passed and the results are a failure. He is very upset that why no matter how hard he tried he still cannot grow any taller. He began to give up, but all these three years he still can't forget her, then during the three years, one day he walk past a gift shop. To his suprise he saw her again. He was so happy because he though this is the chance he has been waiting for. He told himself that he will come to this gift shop every time to see her and until he has achieved the goal he will not approach her. So all these three years he just watched her from afar telling himself she is the motivation and he can do it. After that three years, the shortie finally can't bear any longer decide to approach her and tried to befriend her. Well she feels being a friend is alright so she agreed. He was so happy that during the night he can't sleep. Then another year has passed, he decide to tell her about his feelings but she told him she is sorry she can't accpet him because she feels the shortie can't provide the security she is looking for. The guy knew this will happen but he still decided to try, the guy was sad however he never give up he still try means and ways to grow taller. While one day he was exercising he saw this little boy playing by the road with a ball and the ball goes out of hand into the road. The little boy chase after the ball without seeing the oncoming vehicle. The guy immediately ran out to resuce him. The little boy was resuced but he got into a coma. The doctor say he may wake up in anytime or may just remain as he is that depends on his will. The family and friends was sad all but one who don't know about his tragedy she is the girl he like. As she was starting to wander why he never appear before her to buy something from her shop, shortie friend appear before her and told her what has happened to him. He also told her of all the training he has been doing. It was then that she was deeply touched by his actions because he tried to change himself of her. She wanted to see him, but she feels ashamed because she rejected him before. So she left him a letter and leave the place. She was never seen again. The little boy who was saved by shortie come to the hospital to see the savior and brough along his father. Well the father was one of the top ten rich guy in the world. The father say he will try his every best to find the best doctors to save him. Eventually shortie was sent to amercia for the operation and yes it was successful he got out of coma. The father tell him that since he saved his son's life he is very grateful in addition to the saving he will grant him three wishes. However the first thing he can think of is the girl. They passed him the letter she wrote for him. The letter she wrote says that she feel ashamed of herself for rejecting him and feel that she can't face him or herself so she decided to leave the country and won't see him again. She hope for her speedy recovery and hope that he will forget her forever. So what did shortie do ? He told the father that he don't want any money or anything. All he want is her, the father being one of the world richest guy send out every possible ways to find her. Still can't find her. The father then told him, he can't possibly spend all his money finding her so he told him to come work under him so at lease he can help him out and shortie still can carry on finding her. Shortie never give up and agreed to it and because his job involved going overseas so while he is at any country he will ask for her whereabouts. Until one day he comes to paris, he saw this portrait it was her. He ask the artist where he drew her. He told him where to find her and also told him that she becomes deaf and blind. He was stunned and ask him why. The artist told him the place she once stayed has a hugh explosion she didn't manage to escape in time so now she shall have to rely on ther senses and her dog's help to go around. He immediately go look for her. The artist also told him, she is on a waiting list for her change of eyes. The girl finally got a call from the hospital that there are suitable eyes transfer operation for her. She was so happy and went for the operation. When it is done, she asked the doctor who the one that died and donate his eyes away? They told her it was a young man a young gentlemen and he never died but willing give away his eyes for her. She was stunned and managed to find out it was that guy who she left him in the first place. She cried as she knew the eyes belong to him. She ran up to him and hug him and scolded him for doing so and ask him why he alway want to make her feel guilty. He replied because I really love you.
Well this story is extracted from no where. I just sort of feel like typing a story out so ya there it is. However I really feel that short is not a problem to finding the true love. Guys who are short surely has something to replace his height. He could be a nice guy a nice charactor guy. Girls who alway take note of taller guys please also take a look at the shorter guys. They should be given equal chances. As it my perspective I can't force everyone to agree with me. All I can say is that short guys please don look down on yourself. Chase after what you feel is right, if you give her up because of whatever stupid factors then it will be a very sad thing in the end.
Quote of the day: A short guy who lacks of height should never feel inferior of oneself as he has some other things to make up for it.
Jimmy stop typing at 10:01 PM
Well change my blogskin thanks to Evil Gui who help me change and edit some errors and I quite like it. Well my friend send me a blog link http://harosingapore.blogspot.com/ a very interesting blog site. It about a guy who go around singapore taking pictures and his comments well a bit sacarstic and funny. You guys can just go and take a look. Today is one of my friend's birthday but sadly she has already forgotten who I am. So I guess I am just a sort of guy who just enter anyone's life and being forgotten. Sigh anyway just would like to wish her a very happy birthday even though she won't be seeing this.
Quote of the day: No one is deemed as a loser, the ones who feels so has already become one.
Jimmy stop typing at 12:06 PM
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January 2005