Hai I really wish to be that close to you as in the past we did. Looks like nothing can be done to revert it. Besides you also never read my blog even if you read you also don know who I am referring to and I will take the first option. I feel so sad though. After entering army I feel I have lost alot of friends. Friends that once chatted with me so much that once care so much. It all changed after entering army. What has happened? Is it they have grown up and change? Is it I am still young at heart I still have not grown and mature? What is wrong with me sometimes I ask myself. I wonder why suddenly I feel like I am so childish and feel like I never grow at all. Am I alway complaining alway whinning ? I wonder what is the purpose of my life in this world ? I feel so useless to anything, can't even do my job well can't even get any recognition in anything. Even going to the working society I feel I will just cannot make it. I wanted to do something great but what can I do ? It no longer about trust or faith it about one self capability. I know I don have it I just know. Yesterday went to ntu meet a friend and attended his lecture psychology. The lectuerer then started first speech on one of his friends, and bear in mind that it a true story. He say his friend was kind of a big size and alway have chest pain. So he was recommended to see a doctor. This doctor at first diagnosed him and found out that his heart was perfectly fine and see no reason for the chest pain, so the doctor then concluded that it some illness beyond his knowledge. So that guy though it some kind of will die illness ask him how much longer can he still live. Well he replied maybe 6 months since he also not sure what is it exactly. Then the guy left knowing that he has 6 months of life left , he live just as usual. Then when the fifth month comes his chest pain was so intense that he has to lie on the bed can't move at all. So he was refered back to the doctor who seen him but at that time the doctor went for a 4 months vaccaction so he was referred to another doctor. This doctor then went through all the records and found out that his heart was in perfect condition and there was no signs of showing he is going to die soon. But one thing is very puzzling while all this ordeal was going on, what he lost was only his weight and nothing else. He cannot find any logical explaination for that and told him to go back home and take a good rest. Well after about one year, the guy was seen lively , drinking and enjoying his life to the fullest. It was very puzzling why, so ask him and he said well when he heard that he was about to die, he couldn't eat anything much, so hence he lost his weight and all those chest pains was from the causes of all those unhealthy food he consumed before. So now he is perfectly fine now with no chest pain and control well on his diet he lived on. So now we know that death is one power word that inflicts fear in someone. When someone has fear he will surely lost his appetite and hence lost weight. Well can say death is one good word to make one lost weight. Maybe should have tried that on gallen and he won't be needed to go operation and won't be at home mcing to now.
Quote of the day: All lifes are the same, as long as it is a living thing , then should be treated equally.
Jimmy stop typing at 10:43 AM
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January 2005