Well sometimes when I review my life I know what I thinking is negative side, I know it not good but sometimes I just can't control it. Ya even though everyday I can be like laughing myself out but still negative side will come back somehow. Yes I know I trying very hard to control it but to no use. However don worry it not the end of the world yet so far I am still fine. The most stay this way or I will be happier that all. Everyday is a new day, a new begining for me. A view of the sunrise can be beautiful or ugly which depends highly on one person's mood while looking at it. So let say he is in a foul mood and he so happen to be looking at the sun rise, he will be saying the sun rise is not at all beautiful. However if at that time a person with a good mood is standing beside him, he will replied differently. Two years ago I got to know this girl who is my ex stead, well recently she just broke up with her bf. Then only a few days later she told me she find herself another guy already. So I was wondering and ask her how is he like. She told me she don know, and she is like trying out with him only. So now is it because she is too young that she don understand what is love ? Or because she feels she needs a protection against her own feelings that why she choose to test out that guy? For me right I feel why don she get to know him more before getting committed to him? Isn't that the more correct approach to relationship? I fear she will get hurt again if not it the other party. I being too impulsive that I accidentally hurt her in the process of trying to make her understand my point. Well then I did apologise to her in the end but still the problem does not solve and I fear the misunderstanding will deepen so I give up in trying to make her understand my point. So now love values are not worthy anymore, or is she just too young for it ? Whatever is the case I should not step in anymore it her relationship afterall. Lastly living through my 24 years of life I feel I still have not grown a bit yet. I feel I still like I never grow up. To tinkerbell thanks for tagging my board and yes I don deny challenges coming to me, and I know my fate is in control of my own hands. Maybe I just have not tried hard enough, if I myself don want to stand up no one can force me to stand. From where I fall I shall pick myself up don worry I will be fine and maybe stronger maybe it time to destroy the cassette tape already but I still can't put it down. I shall consider again then.
Jimmy stop typing at 5:12 PM
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January 2005