Well I just happen to read a friend's blog and feel really emotional so I decided to add another entry. First of all I would like to say about a rls I have ended some time ago when I am in australia. Perhaps ya it is right the time we met and the time to start is really really a bad time, so this girl I have some feelings back some years ago I decided to start a new rls with her in hoping that we can go through these together. I even told her all my dark secets that even whoever is closest to me also have no idea about. I am prepared to tell her that of cause is believing that she is the one for me. I did all I could but she is never happy about my actions. I admit when she say must alway chat and send messages, I really find it a hassle not that I don care about her, I just don feel the need to everyday. My style is perhaps like this, I will still keep in contact don worry I won't go missing but if you keep on wanting to chat and chat I of course would run out of topics be it who the person is. I don have alot of things to say also it my feelings I think as long as I have her in my heart is alright already isn't it. In my last entry I mention about air ticket notice the difference now as I would add in more details. One question she got in her mind is why I never bother to try booking hard for an air ticket to go back in december. Is really cash that important to me compare to the love of hers? The answer to this question why I avoided it and even in the end result in breaking up is because I wanted to give her a suprise. The air ticket booked on 26 jan 2007 is meant to be mi appearing at her doorstep while we are still together with perhaps my ideal dream of having flowers in my hand to give to her. There are alot of things I never wanted to explain it is not because I don care or I don want to, it is because I only meant it to be something suprising outcome for her. As I only say and I really don want to just say only I want to show some actions but how am I going to show when we are so far apart? Anyway it doesn't matter anymore but perhaps some things are still best explain. I say this is not out to make her feel sad or what. I say this out to express my feelings on this, as I said before she has found herself a new bf already. I don think time is an issue here what matters is how you feel towards each other. This post is not out to make anyone feel sad or guilty or anything. If you are reading this please don feel you owe me something or you have let me down. I have choosen to let you go also, since you have already made your choice then go by your choice. I really wish to see you happy, I know the times we are together it is really stressful beside I only make you cry so perhaps there is someone better out there to take care of you. You have already found it and really glad for that. You shall have my blessing on these, and don have to worry about anyone views on this. Feelings no one can control just promise me to stay happy as you are and never have any regrets. The angel you have found have better to treat you good, if not one day I shall be the first to ask him why but I guess that day won't be coming from what I see he is really good to you. Remember that no one is hurt through this and everyone should be happy right? I really wish you two all the best. After knowing the truth perhaps it is also right for me to explain the truth up there. That is all don worry it nothing against you two so I must stress on this point. Remember to stay happy always.
Jimmy stop typing at 8:01 PM
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January 2005