Today feel very emotional so decide to leave an entry. Just now was chatting with a friend online. Oh well maybe it me or what I try to ask her out for a movie, or try asking her to go out. The replies I get is alway concern with her sister and her bf. Well not that I want to say, it like won't she feel she will be too bright I mean afterall they are couple mah. Anyway it not up to me to say I just find it strange perhaps she is trying to find an excuse to push me away. That the feeling I get anyway she is just a normal friend, just trying to ask her out for a movie doesn't mean anything but then she react so defensively which makes me kind of uneasy or let just say I won't want to try asking again. Everytime I tried asking something it like end up in failure. Am I lacking confidence or am I starting to lose the belief in myself ? I think maybe it both after all the failures I been through. I think I can conclude that some things are best left like this. I won't want to pursue anything already. I seems to be losing myself , losing my motivation everything that makes what I am seems to drift apart.
Someone once told me if you want to know what is your past life is like, look at your this life and if you want to know what is your next life going to be like look at what you are doing now. Everything has a cause and effects I also strongly believe in that perhaps I am reaping my effects which I sow some time in my past life. Nothing much can be done if it is meant to be like this then I will go through it. Anyway I will be fine afterall I survive through so many ordeals what is this one going to be. There is no way you can prevent what is coming in your path but we can be sure what can be avoided. Looking at what are your doings you would jolly well have an idea what you will be facing maybe not now but it will eventually come to you.
Quote of the day: To live without a heart is like walking bodies without a soul. A body can't survive on it own neither can the brain function without the body. Everything is connected if you want a way out then you have to see the roots of the problem.
Jimmy stop typing at 7:54 PM
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January 2005